Author's Note:
Dad - I promise to keep this upbeat and not sound angry!
Kelly - This is only halfway about Annie, and after you read it, you'll want a dog too!
Everyone else in my (mostly imagined) audience - I know that someday I will find a man who is at least as fun to live with as Annie, if not more so! But for now, the dog park is a great place to hang out on Sunday mornings.
1) Dogs don't talk (or complain, or whine, or lie, or make promises they can't keep, or discuss their neurotic problems for hours on end).
2) Dogs love to cuddle.
3) Dogs never ask you, "Do you really need that second piece of pie?" Instead, they send you strong psychic vibes through their soulful eyes and raised ears saying, "Don't you think I need a second piece of pie, too?"
4) Dogs can't go to REI
5) Dogs are fast learners and willingly change their bad behaviors in exchange for a treat.
6) Dogs don't dribble all over the bathroom floor (at least mine doesn't!)
7) Dogs listen to you for hours on end and don't care about sports, video games, TV, or email.
8) Dogs are good at helping you pick out stylish outfits to wear
9) Dogs actively participate in house cleaning (think chasing the vacuum cleaner)
10) Dogs can be trained to stay off the bed when you want a good night's sleep
11) Dogs always think you look great, are charming, are fun, are lovable and shouldn't change in any way.
