pi (not Pie) Day

No matter how hard I tried, I just could not muster the energy or will to bake a pie yesterday, 3/14, also known as "pi" day.  I looked through both of my pie books (see previous "Pie Literature" entry) obsessed over one called a Black Bottom Pie that was promising because it was complicated AND I had all the ingredients for the pie already, precluding a trip to the store in the worst weather ever.  Seriously.  This is one step away from "natural disaster" bad.

While walking Annie in said "almost-a-natural-disaster-weather" this week, I took a few photos to express her joy in walking in the rain.  

Wow Mom, this weather is so depressing I can't even bark at that strange person.

I will pose, but only because this weather has drained my will to jump.

Annie was so upset (either because I didn't bake a pie or because of the weather putting a "damper" - ha ha - on all her outdoor fun) she tore up her Elephant Titus and then left the scene of the crime to nap on the couch. 

If I can't have fun, no one can! 

Finally, we gave up on all outdoor fun.  Annie took a long nap and I read an entire book.  However, I have a feeling the weather will be better this weekend for Annie's Princess Party at the Dog Park!

How Living With a Dog is Better Than Living With a Man

Author's Note:
Dad - I promise to keep this upbeat and not sound angry!
Kelly - This is only halfway about Annie, and after you read it, you'll want a dog too!
Everyone else in my (mostly imagined) audience - I know that someday I will find a man who is at least as fun to live with as Annie, if not more so! But for now, the dog park is a great place to hang out on Sunday mornings.

1) Dogs don't talk (or complain, or whine, or lie, or make promises they can't keep, or discuss their neurotic problems for hours on end).

2) Dogs love to cuddle.

3) Dogs never ask you, "Do you really need that second piece of pie?"  Instead, they send you strong psychic vibes through their soulful eyes and raised ears saying, "Don't you think I need a second piece of pie, too?"

4) Dogs can't go to REI

5) Dogs are fast learners and willingly change their bad behaviors in exchange for a treat.

6) Dogs don't dribble all over the bathroom floor (at least mine doesn't!)

7) Dogs listen to you for hours on end and don't care about sports, video games, TV, or email.

8) Dogs are good at helping you pick out stylish outfits to wear

9) Dogs actively participate in house cleaning (think chasing the vacuum cleaner)

10) Dogs can be trained to stay off the bed when you want a good night's sleep

11) Dogs always think you look great, are charming, are fun, are lovable and shouldn't change in any way.

San Francisco: Down to Brass Tacks with Karaoke and Prostitutes

But first, we need to help me decide with pictures make the best profile pics on Facebook.  Here are your options:

In front of the Ferry Building

At the Coit Tower on Telegraph Hill advertising the Mini

This one actually is my FB profile pic at this moment in time.  The reason why: it's the only one that doesn't reveal I'm in San Francisco.  A certain ex boyfriend on FB lives in SF and I don't want him to know that I was there.  How is that for mature?  (Hint: Extremely.  At one point in time, I would have texted said ex as soon as I landed to start some insta-drama, but now, that is the last thing I want to happen.  Did I mention that said ex is married and still texts me at least once a week?)

Drinking fancy beverages at the Fairmont

Full House!

Not only the site of the Olsen twin's rise to fame, but also where my ever-observant mother discovered not one but FOUR grey/white hairs on my head, all frizzy and witch-like.   Naturally, she pulled them out and I almost started crying, but then a hop-on, hop-off tour came by and I decided to start coloring my hair instead.

Supposedly Janis Joplin's apartment building at one point. 

Looking at Murals in the Mission. 

Please note the artwork that I'm wearing while touring the murals in the Mission.  Thank you shopping trip in the Haight!

Veggie restaurant, still wearing trendy San Francisco clothes

How could I not take a picture in front of this view? 

 At this moment, dozens of foreign tourists on rented bicycles from "Blazing Saddles" were riding by, chatting in Spanish, French and German.

San Francisco with the Cool People

Where to begin?  I guess I can put this trip into distinct themes:

Mom Eating
Dad Drinking
Karaoke
Me Trying to Take Facebook Profile-Ready Pics of Myself
Prostitutes

Let's start with Mom Eating:

This picture also overlaps with Dad Drinking, but since it doesn't show any actual beverages, it can go into Mom Eating.  We were sharing a table with a family from New Jersey (a far cry from people like The Situation, it turns out!  How refreshing that normal people live on the east coast too).

Chinese restaurant first night out - one bottle of wine down!

This isn't really Mom eating, it's kind of the opposite actually, but it didn't fit into the Prostitute theme either, so here it is.  We were at the SFMOMA (if you don't know what that stands for, you obviously don't care about it, so don't worry either way).

"Art"

Here we are at an Italian restaurant eating crab melts.  Don't ask me how that is Italian or vegan.

Authentic Mexican food!  Thanks to Lonely Planet, we found a taqueria with veggie tacos (no al pastor, unfortunately) and an older man from Israel who lived in the Mission district confirmed that this was the best taco place.  Too bad I didn't get his picture!

We aren't entirely comfortable eating food that is so authentic in such a very Mexican environment after such a "unique" bus ride,  but if we get pie later it's okay.  

My personal favorite.  This is at a vegetarian restaurant on the marina where we feasted on veggie stuff and drank peach sangria.  Yum!  

I really wish you wouldn't post this on the internet.

Our last night we somehow got coerced into going to another Italian restaurant, which didn't even have crab melts!  We had meant to go to a tapas place, but a very convincing multi-lingual Italian lady wearing a business suit with shorts (can you say "hottie"?) told us if we didn't sit down she'd never friend us on Facebook, so you can see we really had no choice.

Carb-loading for the plane ride tomorrow. Slippery elm be damned!

Dad Drinking:
Just realized this category could also be combined with Prostitutes.  Wow, this just keeps getting better!

Here we are in a Chinese bakery around 9:30pm on Friday night.  Mom reaaalllllyyyy wanted to try karaoke (Neither of them had ever done that!  Can you imagine?) so we were discussing which '70s hits we wanted to sing.  Of course, "Muskrat Love" was the first thing we all thought of.  Here are both of them laughing hysterically about the lyric: "Sam is sleazy and Sally is easy."  I mean, I know a lot of people did drugs back then, but that's a surprisingly coherent use of rhyme and contemporary slang.

OMG LOL

We're way beyond knee-slapping here

There was a bad-termpered Chinese woman trying to run her bakery, and at some point she yelled at them, scowling, "Ha ha so funny!"  I'm sorry if that sounds like a caricature, but it actually happened.

The next day, Dad needed a caffeine fix (shocker), and waited thirty minute in line for a Blue Bottle mocha, which is frankly confusing, because who ever heard of coffee in a bottle?  Here he is with is $4.50 hard-won prize.

Dish d'lish

And finally, our last night in the "big city" at said Italian restaurant.  Clearly, Dad was already friends with the hottie Italian dictator woman on Facebook because he ordered two (half) bottles of wine!  Finally, a beverage that actually comes in the container as advertised.

Dad, wasted.

Well, you're going to have to wait for the other three categories.  However, this was a nice warm-up, don't you think?

Annie's Spa Day

After being at doggy summer camp (read: boarded with three other dogs, daily trips to the dog park and general doggy madness for six days), Annie was ready for a bath!  I decided to make it a proper spa day.  Since she's a dog and loves being bathed so much and all.

Step One: Doggy massage

Ahhh, that's the spot!  I'm so relaxed now...

Step Two: Prepare the bathing room

I know what is coming, but I just can't tear myself away.

Step Three: Rinse and shampoo

Good thing I'm not an actual child... otherwise posting these pictures might be illegal!

Step Four: Coconut-scented conditioner and final rinse.

When will I escape this hell?  Is that a little yellow Satan on the tub?

Step Six: Brush teeth and fur.

Where's my treat???

Step seven: Relax, doggy zoom zoom, and show your appreciation for now smelling like a delicious coconut (instead of dead worms).

Belly up -- that wasn't so bad!  Any attention is better than no attention, after all.

The Princess and the Puke

Annie is not a prissy dog.  She is the opposite of prissy, in fact.  Her person, however, could definitely be considered prissy at times.  So when she started throwing up every single time she rode in my car (never in Grandma and Grandpaw's car, of course), I decided that I had been sicked out enough, and decided to take matter into my own hands and credit card.

A few months ago, I had looked at $100+ dog car seats and promptly dismissed them as ridiculous.  However, after scooping up vomit and washing her blanket half a dozen times, $100+ was looking like a bargain.  Enter Crown Hill Pet Supply and two nice young men who not only helped me find the right size that could also match my interior (no leopard print or pink here) but also played with my spunky pup.

Here is the Princess of Puke sitting on her new throne.  She seemed to really enjoy her card ride home, which was the closest to hanging her head out the window she's ever going to get.

I own you, road.

Seattle Pie Review

Re-defining "gluttony" every step of the way

This weekend, instead of actually contributing to the universe and baking a pie, I decided to do the opposite and just consume pie.  Have to scope out the competition, after all...

It all started on Friday after lunch, Nicole (enthusiastic pie connoisseur) and I met in Fremont to try out "Pie".  Now, my parents had already tried it and therefore biased my opinion by not liking the crust or small drop of filling in their mini-mini pies (about the size of a silver dollar, if that).

As far as I could tell, there were NO traditionally-sized pies at Pie at all (8-10").  Their specialty is savory, muffin-size pies for lunch and for the after-party at 2am, since they are open late.  At the time I visited, there was one sweet muffin-sized pie, and five or six varieties of silver-dollar sweet pies.  I opted for pecan, key lime, and chocolate-peanut butter with cookie crust.

The conceptual problem with teeny tiny pies is that the crust-to-filling ratio is off.  Inevitiably, you will exceed the amount of crust to be delicious in order to hold the filling in these small sizes.  So no matter how great your crust is, it will always appear too dry, because there isn't enough filling to complement it.
 

Key Lime:
The filling was too dense and solid for my taste.  No whip cream?  Come on, this might be a mini-mini pie, but a dollop of whip cream might have helped convince me.
The crust was baked the right amount of time (not tough or burnt), but not exceedingly flakey either.  In this form, it's difficult to really get a handle on the quality of crust.

Pecan:
Filling was both crunchy and soft, which was dish d'lish.  In fact, both Nicole and I liked it so much that I am now inspired to try my own pecan pie, in honor of rural-dwelling grandparents everywhere.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie:
Dry and dry and too dry!  Let's not dwell on it.

If you're going to make me eat more pie, at least make it a real pie, for crying out loud!

Seattle Pie Company

I really liked this place because it's run by a wife/husband team (and the wife is actually my age, so it's doubly inspirational), they were genuine and friendly (more than I can say for the hipsters at Pie), and they had a wide variety of home made fruit and cream pies by the slice, as God intended.

We tried the sour cherry, the chocolate cream, and the Desserted Island Pie (their signature), which were all dish d'lish.  Their pastry is made from pig lard and they sprinkle sugar on the top, which was a nice touch.

Mmmmm cherry....

The Desserted Island has a really nice crumbly crust top that absorbed the apply-fruityness.

Crumbly apply fruityness

Personally, my favorite was the chocolate cream because the texture was light and puddingy, it had a sprinkling of powdered sugar, and it was covered with a really soft whip cream, which was similar to how I imagine the "dessert topping" Betty talks about.

Chocoholics Anonymous

*Update March 15, 2012: Unfortunately, The Seattle Pie Company in Magnolia has since closed!  And cannot be located at any other locations*

Because we enjoyed these pies so much, we decided to trek all the way out to West Seattle to try Shoo Fly Pie before they close in thirty minutes.

Quick, I need some more sugar!

Even though Shoo Fly was almost closing, it was hopping and they still had a selection of pies to sample.  We could only handle two (coconut cream and shoo fly).

Shoo Fly's crust is made entirely from butter, but we didn't like it as much as the pig lard one at Seattle Pie Co.  It was a little bit over done for my taste.  However, the creamy coconut and whip cream combo was dish d'lish.

Toasty coconut inside and out

I don't think any of use had ever had a Shoo Fly pie before, and it turns out that it involves only ingredients that you already have around the house like molasses and nutmeg (no expensive fruit here!).  It was hyper-sweet, so be sure to have your diabetic shock medicine handy.  I would love to try some more of their pies later.

Overall, I am a sucker for coconut cream, so that may have been my favorite filling.  However, I think the lard crust pastry at Seattle Pie Company was the unanimous winner in the ongoing search for the ultimate pie crust.  It was also the winner in the category of un-pretentiousness.

Next time... I will chronicle my Black and Blue Mango pie for Hog Loppett weekend.

Always hold the camera at 45 degrees to avoid extra chins caused by too much pie!